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First uploaded January 18, 2012

Let’s chat about pronouns and grammar.

Many people say that gender-neutral pronouns are grammatically incorrect.  This phenomenon is common as dirt.  I guess I didn’t realize so many people felt so strongly about Proper Grammar.

Making this argument is equivalent to saying “I value the fictional ideal of a pure language over the prospect of having to exert the slightest amount of energy to give another person the modicum of respect they are entitled to.”  Those priorities are lacking, in my opinion, but… sure.  Following that logic, you would welcome my perusal of your blog, going through every post with a fine-tooth comb, pouncing on every failed capitalization and misused punctuation.  “WHERE IS THE POSSESSIVE APOSTROPHE YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT?”

Because, honestly, I promise you that in fact you don’t care about Proper Grammar as much as you say you do.  You’re hiding behind the fallacious conceit of pure language.  You are using this tired, false argument in an effort to avoid the task of using pronouns in a way which may be unfamiliar to you.  Stop it.

My pronoun is they.  It is actually grammatically correct to use “they” for an individual, but honestly that should not matter one way or the other.  If someone uses ze/zir pronouns, or xe/xyr, or ey/eir, or it/its, you should fucking respect that person and their pronoun.  If someone does not use pronouns, you should respect that.  Trying to deny that tiny bit of dignity and agency that one might assert through their pronoun with the self-aggrandizing and incorrect non sequitur of proper or improper grammar is a horrible, fucked-up thing to do.